bangkok = shopping!

hope to see some pretty transvestites! :DDD











i just want to say hello again.
you have become a stranger to me! is it because of my own weariness, or have you really changed?

esotericism

and so the rvcb chalet has come to a close. it was largely tepid, except for the fact that i managed to catch up with juniors and those from my batch.
one year passed so fast, it seems like yesterday that i graduated from rvcb. but its heartwarming, that we haven't changed. despite one year away from each other, the spirit is still there, the togetherness, the bonding.
and nostalgia takes me on a ride, through those 4 years i spent there. and these experiences are unique to those who know ever so well - that a band could never exist without its people.

i have no regrets whatsoever, and i feel so blessed that i knew you.
for all the terse letters and the hiatus you left in me when i graduated, i was reminded how you took me in and gave me a warmth which i find hard to replace. you give me solace in the implicit assurance that you will never leave.
but i have this nagging feeling that in these 2 years, i never knew you well enough. (actually, i dont think i ever knew anyone well enough)

anyway, it is time to move on! it was a temporary lapse, a brief transportation to a time when i was still unassuming and.. not grown up. (innocent is not the word)
after all, it is no use trying to resuscitate the past. let us all then strive for better things and achieve new breakthroughs in our lives.

time capsule

Peace is but a shadow of death,
desperate to forget its painful past.
Though we hope for promising years
after shedding a thousand tears,
yesterday's sorrow constantly nears.
And while the moon still shines blue,
by dawn it will turn to scarlet hue.
-Kuja

Nature
Leaves fall and flowers wither,
all things have to end one day.
Spring, summer, autumn, winter.
Do things always have to be this way?
If only life wasn't so predictable,
and things didn't follow a never-ending cycle,
many hearts would be mended,
restoring fire to dying passions.
Souls lifted.
Love rekindled.


found these scribbled on a scrap of paper in my drawer. the first one came from final fantasy 9 lol. i must have been a really troubled boy back then.
but no matter how childish it might be, i really treasure it all. at least i tried.

zzzz

i am so damn bored on this sunday morning. so i shall recount choice bits of the class chalet which was so terribly lame.

First Day.
we got scammed by the stupid maid tending the bicycle store who insisted on us paying for an extra half-hour when we just exceeded by 10min -.-
we cycled half of sentosa! and pretended the bus behind us was a t-rex so we were cycling like we were gonna die or sth =O
watched monster house in THREE-D.

Second Day.
went to watch the sunrise with tim, jiahao and the girls("act goong" as quoted by joe) but realised that the sun doesnt rise from the south a.k.a palawan beach.
went back to nj for band prac, fell asleep halfway..
ate ben and jerry's merlionster yum
beach soccer and bball!

Second Night+Third Day. (DISASTER)
couldnt catch a movie cuz cinema was closed for private function.
couldnt get drinks and snacks in vivo cuz practically every store was closed. i wonder if the govt made it that way to reinforce the 11pm law hmmm.
missed the last bus back to sentosa. so..guess what? WALK!
after trudging across the whole of vivo, the bridge, and the spooky forests(where joe and tim were freaking out and humji-ing >.<), we finally reached the 7-11!
alas, it was CLOSED.
so walked again we did, a quarter of sentosa, until we reached the 7-11 at the beach. thank God it was open if not i collapse liao.
chiong back to hotel room where me, tim, joe and jiahao had the luxury of 4 beds to ourselves because everyone else went back home -.-"
played bridge and makan until 2am den we slept until 10. shiok
so we checked out and waited at the busstop.
10..20..30..40min den the freaking 61 come wah lao eh.
and to end it all off, timothy lost his handphone on the bus!
epitome of suayness la.


oh and one more thing. i dont like being abandoned, especially if im sitting alone and being so noobish and still, no one offers advice or anything. stop looking at me with that pity in your eyes. i dont need it. if you really wanted to, you could help right? now im even more convinced that going to nie is pretty much useless, at least to me.

Superwoman

the enigmatic quality of your eyes provides no recourse for people who desire to know you more deeply. you command respect, admiration and most importantly, friendship.
so strong are the values you espouse that sometimes you forget that we too have our own. all the world is at your mercy. you can do everything, a superhuman, a perfect role model for all to follow. you have everything, all we could ever wish for. and you proselytise wondrous virtues, like punctuality, sheer determination and committment.
it makes me wonder, underneath that transient shield of immortality, is there even a tiny spot of weakness? after all, we are only human. but i pray, that when the time comes (if it ever does), that you will fall with grace.

yay!

YES i finally did my blog up! real happy that i managed to find this one on blogskins! dunno how to get that hollywood thingy at the bottom off though.
and i dunno how to add links help!

a stained glass masquerade

the song struck me. are we really all that great and strong in our faith as we portray ourself to be?
or are we really just "happy plastic people, under shiny plastic steeples, with walls around our weakness and smiles to hide our pain"?
i wish i could be true to God, true to myself and true to the people around me. i would give it all for you.

but alas, im doubting the power of words. there is a rather fallacious stand that words can replace the act of doing. expressing yourself in prose and keeping it personal makes a person no different to one of those emasculated gamer freaks whose only acts of machismo are confined to typing rude insults on their computer screens. (ARGH had enough of them!oh Lord give me patience.)
Therefore, words are useless without REAL action! dont say it until you are sure you will do something about it!

the past few days have been really tiring. my home becomes a quiet sanctuary for me. perhaps ultimately, my deepest desire is to be alone. after all, i've failed in more ways than one reaching out to people i care about.

and i need to do up my blog. why didnt God give me a gift for designing? oh, and it makes me wonder who in the world will give a hoot about what i write anyway.

sorry

i hate myself for always being so wishy-washy and weak. i could never pluck up the courage to say what you always wanted to hear. so many times you know, those words get stuck somewhere in my head and they dont come out. i see your silhoutte at the bus-stop everyday, i too, am tired. i dont know how you keep me up till the wee hours of the night, you constantly remind me of your words and your laughter. i cant promise, but i can hope, to be a better person. if second chances do exist, i pray ever so earnestly, that God give me his guidance.

now this is what im talking about

thank you. but don't let this end. please. i want it to stay forever.

i wish, i wish, i wish.

And i've been keeping all the letters that i wrote to you.
Each one a line or two.
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well i would send them but I know that it's just now enough.
My words were cold and flat.
And you deserve more than that.
-Home,Michael Buble