pain is good

because at least you know you're alive.
so many times this year i've lost what i've treasured and they've never been returned. could you this once, just this once show me how?
I was made to fight for a noble cause, protect endangered animals from poachers, die for my country, help the less fortunate around me feel normal again. yet i am struggling to find you and answers to my perennial questions. from now on, i will leave no room for error, room to make that little mistake, a chance for efforts to fall through. this idiot has learnt his lesson.