memories, thoughts and what-nots

nostalgia takes me as i read Hanson's blog. his memories of RV simply remind me of the wonderful times i had there, even though there was my fair share of troubles.
well it was my secondary school after all, my second home. ever since i've stepped into jc, i've been so caught up with the business and the 'exciting' changes that it has brought. so much that i've completely forgotten about my secondary school days.
those secondary school days. seemingly ever-so-innocent. i think i was pretty much a scrawny worm in lower sec. always keeping a low profile and shy. however, i found close friends who made my days so much brighter. my class was so much into soccer and i found a way to communicate and interact with others. on the street soccer court. pandan ssc was a place filled with countless memories. from shouting "NEXT TEAM" to getting thrashed by the 'pros', everything took place there.
sec3 and 4 was fun. was still pretty much withdrawn for the first semester. again, soccer took centrestage. its amazing how a common sport can bridge a gap between people eh?
i gradually was inducted into the soccer gang and it was when things got a lot more interesting.
we were a bunch of crazy guys, and childish i must say. but i dont regret it at all. right now, i wish i could be. but it seems like suddenly, a ton of weights have been placed over our heads. so much that we are confined to being 'young adults'. what bitter irony! we are given more freedom with our behavior but at the same time, we are expected to have responsibility over our actions and most of all BE responsible. i guess its all part of maturing, though it may be uncomfortable.

i miss the old times. but i shant recollect every single detail because it will take ages to write. haha well i'll just leave it at that. the details will be etched in my mind for a long time to come im sure.

anyway, BAND IS SO SO BUSY! haha we have 4 practices a week and they are soooo long. and NIE band room is super cold and i tink its 10 degrees celsius and my hair was standing for hours on end. it didnt help that julian kept teasing about my goosebumps la! that TOOT. haha no offence though. it was kinda fun depending on a hot water bottle for warmth too. reminds me that simple things which are usually taken for granted can be ever so important in times of need. THAT applies to friends too i think. so be good to your friends! cherish every single one of them!

anyways, i come to find that the band spirit is becoming stronger and stronger each day. i believe that after the band camp, greater bonds will be forged and we will move together FORWARD. we must do our best for the concert! i dont want to let anybody down. but sometimes i feel so helpless when things go wrong. when my embrochure goes awry and my tone makes me sound like a freshie. i can only pray that it wont happen on concert day =/

haha anyway i'll do my best! practice will make perfect. at least SOMEDAY.

lastly. i hope i can live without you. there was once when i strived to make myself everything you wanted me to be. "I would have never let you down, even if i could. i would give up everything, if only for your own good."

but now i realise that all this is useless for you will never see me as who i am inside. the result? i appear as someone weak and unopinionated. still think about what could have been but i shudder at the thought of how it could have ended eventually too.

friends is the way to go, as it should have started. i made a mistake once and i wont make it twice. whats so bad about it anyway? cheers man.